Never Cry Over a Failed Relationship Again!
“RTT Frees You From the patterns of behaviour that are causing your love relationships to fail, so that you are free to attract your soulmate and enjoy your life to the Max”
I saw this picture on my Instagram feed today that simply said “This is Your Last Night Crying” and it really resonated with me because years ago I remember feeling like this. I had just made the decision to end a relationship with a guy I adored and after I did it……I cried myself to sleep that night.
Tim was the most chilled out cool guy you could imagine, totally gorgeous and crazy about me – how did I get so lucky? BUT….it was a nightmare trying to arrange anything with him because he would just escape up to his home town (over 300 miles away) at a moments notice if he felt like a night out with his mates.
And trying to get him to commit to anything other than the next 5 minutes in the day was near on impossible.
But he loved me. He was incredible company when we were together. He made me feel wanted, intelligent, desired and loved. Yet he would never plan anything with me.
So more often than was comfortable, I turned down plans with friends hoping that my man would want to spend the weekend with me, only to find that we would spend a wonderful Friday together…..and then at the last minute he would get a call to pop back to his home town to do something else.
I was devastated each time and knew that I needed to start expressing my own values in our relationship. But I adored him and didn’t want to lose him because he thought that I was pretty “cool” and chilled out and that a relationship with me was not stressful. And I loved that.
But the truth is ….it wasn’t me. I wanted to feel respected but I lacked a lot of confidence back then and didn’t really know how to express my values and boundaries without blaming him or just getting frustrated.
And one night when I was crying myself to sleep – I knew that I had to make the decision to end it.
Because there comes a time when you just have to understand that no matter how great a person is…..if they don’t make YOU feel good inside…..then it’s time to listen to your heart and your gut feelings.
If you are with someone who is not making you happy then you are probably operating from a place of fear and from a scarcity mindset.
Fear and scarcity talk is:
“Well I would rather be with someone than on my own”…..OR
“how will I find anyone else?” OR
“He’s my world – I don’t want to let him go!”
I mean seriously…why waste time chasing after someone hoping that they will like you….when there are literally thousands of men out there who would see YOU as their dream woman and are thinking about a relationship with someone like you right now!!
(And if you don’t believe that…then you ARE operating from fear and from a scarcity mindset!)
So……is it time to let go of a relationship that is NOT serving you in the best way possible?
Dig deep here.
Because your future happiness and peace of mind depends on it
BUT… here’s the kicker.
I takes guts to do what I did. Real ballsy confidence. I didn’t feel confident at all, but I stood my ground and as I prepared to leave his flat for the last time, I said I’d loved being with him but that we should probably part on good terms because even though we were still young, I was getting frustrated at the lack of commitment on his side.
Outwardly I was strong, confident (and he loved that) – and bless him he even made a half hearted attempt to change my mind as he could see by the tears welling up in my eyes that I was serious.
Inwardly I was breaking – all sorts of thoughts of scarcity running through my mind – I’d never find someone I loved like him, that I would be on my own, that even a bad relationship is better than being on my own…….and I secretly hoped he’d beg me to stay.
But he let me go.
And that night I cried over him for the last time. Because I was done being this weak, disempowered young woman who was too scared to say what she felt.
I KNEW without a shadow of a doubt that I needed to work on my own confidence, on my own life so that I was more of a “whole” person.
You see when we come from a place of FEAR – we are too nice – we don’t rock the boat – we try and make ourselves perfect for our man, but what happens is the exact opposite.
Let me tell you about what makes a man take action to WANT to commit to you and what’s more to be so happy and certain about making that commitment, that he wants to do it fairly fast to make sure that you don’t get away!
Seeing you as a “high value woman”!
Now I’m not going to lie – when I first heard that expression it made me cross because I had heard it before – but what the heck really is a “high value woman”?
Well I know now.
It’s a person who is so confident in herself and her life, that she feels good regardless of whoever, or whatever else is going on.
She’s a complete person who knows her values and what she stands for. She has a full life and she’s not dependent on one area of her life to become all encompassing (like a relationship) to the exclusivity of everything else. She’s confident in her boundaries and knows what she wants from a relationship and is not afraid to communicate that.
And this all comes from a place of self love, self worth and self esteem.
So I understand what a “high value woman” is.
Because I AM one, and I’m confident enough to say it (and believe it for most of the time too!) 😉
But without this inner confidence and self love and respect – you will take the same relationship issues you’re having now, from one relationship to the next and will attract the exact same sort of problems over and over again.
It’s why second time marriages have a higher divorce rate than first time marriages.
Because people don’t understand this.
But here’s something you should know about attraction
The truth is that you CAN attract the man of your dreams right now and in my next post I will share with you why what you THINK you want, will actually only make all the problems you have today even worse!!
Think I’m kidding and that this couldn’t possibly be the case? I mean if you keep attracting emotionally unavailable men for example and you suddenly start dating a wonderful man who is emotionally available and has all the other traits and values that you want…..won’t that make you feel better?
Not if you don’t do the inner work on yourself …..
Look out for my next blog post and you will understand what I mean.
So the aim of this blog post today, is NOT to try and sell you on anything (although stay tuned because I do have a VERY special offer that I am running in the first week of January, that I am SO excited about!!)
No…..that’s not the aim.
My aim today is that I want you to understand that relationships and everything that is going on around outside of YOU is not what is creating your outcomes.
It is how you feel about YOURSELF at your sub-conscious level that is driving ALL of your outcomes – literally your life blueprint right now.
And if you understand this…..REALLY understand this, then it is truly life changing.
If you are living unhappily …..then it starts with YOU and how you feel about yourself at your core level and until you do something about those outdated patterns of beliefs, then you will continue to take it with you to any relationship, any job and any part of your life.
And the sad part is that most people don’t think they are important enough to work on themselves.
They will spend money on the latest electronic gadgets, on their undeserving partners, on take- away dinners and treats to make things “seem” better, but they won’t do some inner work on themselves.
Or maybe they don’t believe they deserve to spend money on themselves – yet they continue to make excuses for other people’s bad behaviour and they continue to feel bad inside wishing things could be better.
But it won’t. It might improve a little for a while……but then it will go back to what your inner programming has stored about you.
Is it time to change the programming?
Because when you reach the point where you are MORE scared and fearful of attracting the same outcomes over and over again than you are of investing in yourself and changing everything…..then this is when you’re ready to take action.
And what better time than the beginning of a new decade?
So if that’s you….then let’s hop on a call and talk about how I can help you do this so that by Valentines day you are ready!!
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