Relationships and Trauma
Failed relationships, Anxiety, Depression – what do they have in common?
Well lots of things actually….but let me start with one.
And when I say trauma – often people think of trauma as something that is huge like a terrorist attack, war, violence etc but actually trauma is just something that we experience when we find something distressing.
And what most people don’t realise is that issues that they have in their current life (eg inability to fully love/connect, spells of depression and/or anxiety, anger issues) are often as a result of trauma from their childhood.
It has been proven that our brain activity is significantly different when we are between the ages of 0-7. Dr Joe Dispenza describes this as our “programming” years in our “Computer” minds.
So think about that for a moment. Imagine how you might process something distressing as a child compared to how you might process it today – probably quite differently, right?
Children don’t know how to process strong feelings and so they look to whoever is around them to learn. But if their parents or carers around them are not explaining anything or are acting in a way that is confusing to a child (think rejection, arguments, illness, violence, absences etc) then the child will just store this in their body as trauma.
When we lose touch with our experience – we then look externally to see what to do to get our needs met.
And this will be …..whatever works! Maybe it’s to be a good boy or girl, maybe it’s to throw a tantrum and be naughty, or funny, or …..most importantly, maybe it’s to learn to suppress our feelings . We build this into our personality and it becomes a part of us….until that stops working and we have to do something else to avoid the pain.
As a child we will try ANYTHING in order to get our needs met – it’s hardwired in us.
So when what we do is no longer working, then our minds step in to protect us and create something to help you avoid the pain of rejection, or not feeling enough.
So it locks away the trauma in your body and only stores fragments of memories around it and you learn to suppress your emotions.
It is of course very possible to overwrite this programming with new beliefs in order to totally liberate you and allow you to feel and experience everything that you truly want in your life…….BUT only if you know about the root cause of the trauma in the first place and are able to release it.
Trauma is stored in the body.
In order to release the blocks that you are currently experiencing that could manifest as all sorts of things such as lack of confidence, weight issues, addictions, loneliness, anger issues, jealousy, relationship issues – inability to fully love someone and be loved, friendship issues and of course anxiety and depression then you need to be able to release the ORIGINAL trauma that the mind has been building on.
It is a physical manifestation in your body and it’s why I love what I do so much because I’m able to help my clients to find the root cause of the trauma and then reframe it or eliminate it.
If you are being held back in your life and you’d like to schedule a complimentary 30 minute chat with me, then just send me a PM.
If you weren’t born with it…..then you can be free of it, and it’ll be my pleasure to help you.